Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children's Needs - Softcover

Books in the Rebuilding Books series "for divorce and beyond" are written for those considering divorce, going through divorce, or rebuilding their lives after divorce. Inspired by the work of renowned divorce therapist, Dr. Bruce Fisher, the Rebuilding Books offer expert information and practical self-help procedures. These straightforward, life-affirming resources can help make the divorce process easier, healthier, and less painful, leading to more-fulfilled lives and stronger "second-time" relationships.

I've spent the last 20 years of my professional life working with children and families of divorce. In more recent years, it has become a near-exclusive practice, as I have been a therapist, child custody evaluator, mediator, Special Master, researcher, author, and trainer in the field. I have actively participated with the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) and the American Psychological Association (APA) and local inter-disciplinary committees of professionals in trying to promote a better understanding of how divorce affects children and families and to learn what parents can do to help their children adjust in a healthier way to divorce. This book, meant for the parents of divorce, is an outgrowth of that work.

I am also a divorced father and bring a personal perspective to my professional life. I have shared custody of my children, and I've tried to follow the guidelines I encourage in this book. I have seen what works, and what doesn't. Like all parents, I have made mistakes and tried to learn from them. Finally, I have talked with my own children about my professional and personal observations, as well as their feelings and experiences.

In this book, I have tried to provide you, the reader, with a different perspective on divorce. Your divorce doesn't have to damage your children, especially if you take the time and effort to be a responsible parent and limit your children's exposure to your conflicts. I know that most parents want to raise their children in an emotionally healthy way, and I'm confident that you will find my suggestions and insights helpful.

I have also learned a lot from children over the years. The effects of divorce on children can be many or few, depending on how parents handle things. Usually, parents argue a lot before getting a divorce. If they continue arguing after the divorce, their children are likely to suffer. If parents learn to settle their differences and become more content and happier after the divorce, they can usually do a more effective job of parenting. Their children will be more likely to adjust well. In this book, I will share observations from many children when their own parents divorced. You'll find some of their comments throughout the book, others in an entire chapter devoted to the words of children. If you learn from their words, as I have, you can help your own children.