I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict - Softcover

Cohen-Sandler, a clinical psychologist specializing in issues of women and adolescent girls, and Silver, senior editor of Girls' Life magazine, have done mothers a great service with this thoroughly researched book. Their main point is simple: arguments are bound to occur, but if approached correctly, confrontation can actually lead to deeper mutual understanding and a stronger mother-daughter bond. Consistently working through battles also demonstrates a sense of constancy that will offer good lessons for future relationships. Through case studies, exercises, and detailed scenarios, the authors describe the most effective ways to communicate about such loaded topics as dating, sexuality, drugs and alcohol, and peer pressure, paying particular attention to the "classic battle starters": the state of her bedroom, her clothing, and her makeup and jewelry choices. Other in-depth chapters focus on the right and wrong ways to respond to verbal attacks and the importance of choosing battles wisely. Some of their advice will not be easy to follow, especially when the fight is on, but if some effort is exerted, these tips should help mothers and daughters not only survive, but even enjoy, the teen years.

Combining the expertise of a clinical psychologist with the unique perspective of a magazine editor for teens. "I'm Not Mad, I just Hate You!" explores the social, emotional, cultural, and psychological issues that lead to the chaotic door-slamming and eye-rolling of the teenage years. It offers fresh, doable, and specific advice, including:
-- Sample dos and dont's dialogues
-- Communications strategies, like "the 20-second rule" (don't say it if it takes longer than a paragraph)
-- True-to-life case studies that show mothers how to choose their battles wisely

Whether you're still anticipating the teen years, or struggling with a mother-daughter relationship that's deteriorating by the day, this book is the help you need!